duldog
Free Rider
beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder
Posts: 325
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Post by duldog on Feb 6, 2006 10:17:58 GMT 8
well guys i was born with a handicap (ipinanganak akong torpe  - i was born not knowing how to tell my feelings to a lady ;D) used to ask my buddies how to do it like a pro ;D (drinking and ride buddies, married and unmarried) but nobody gave me a sensible answer not even tips. with all the nice people here in this forum, can you please give some tips? i have a big crush on my officemate right next door but demmet mukhang ok na pero ayaw pa rin! (i think she likes me but can't be sure!) |
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 10:35:51 GMT 8
ok mag rant lang ako . . . i realized with me it's always good to get rid of that crush crush notion and just really start it off as friends. i know mahirap pero when I have a crush on someone I always end up messing things up: nervous ka, interpreting every little thing, always evaluating whether what you did was right or wrong, ika nga in bike terms, your conscious of every single thing you do on the bike instead of simply enjoying the trail and experiencing that sense of flow. it's really different if there was friendship to build on. but you shouldn't pursue the friendship for the sake of courting her. labo ba? ganyan talaga hehehe i always believed it's quite ok to go out with a girl for no other reason than just to enjoy her company, not to pursue her or anything. honestly, would you eat at a fine dining resto with another guy? or watch a romantic comedy with a guy friend? we need to enjoy the company of the opposite sex for that. now here comes my old fashioned approach, why do you want to pursue her? i believe also guys should pursue a woman because he seriously wants to have a long-term relationship that is open to the possibility of marriage (and a lot of good women believe in this too). most will not agree, but I also believe it is the guy who should make the declaration of courtship. magpakalalaki tayo  also, a courtship is successful whether maging kayo o dehins, because courtship is meant to be a phase where the two of you will determine together under God whether you want to spend the rest of your life together. two people sharing a life together is a serious matter, one that can give you a true lifetime partner through thick and thin, or an eternal hell of nagging and tempers flaring. when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, forever can't start soon enough hehehe. try reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye. |
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Post by warlock^_^ on Feb 6, 2006 10:44:19 GMT 8
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Post by bilibidboy on Feb 6, 2006 11:12:21 GMT 8
ey is that the book written by joshua harris? i heard the guy is separated from his wife? what a testimony if thats true..sorry for the O.T.
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Post by janix on Feb 6, 2006 12:54:48 GMT 8
i agree to what faFa marcs said.... start with friendship, but sometimes when your friendship is deep, you get the feeling of not anymore telling her.... kasi baka masira ang friendship (because cow destroy the friendship).... but still it's your own call... just make sure you don't hurt her feelings.... regarding marriage (im talking on the college level).... i have many female friends who have a macho faFa.... and when they ask her that he wants to marry her, she gets scared.... maybe from the thought that their relationship is still in months, not yet in years.... strenghten your relationship first.... then propose, .02.... but in my experience, when i ask someone to marry me, they immediately run away.... (la kasi magawa e... lalaki tinanong ko = im just goofing around, i asked boys) nyaknyaknyak!!!!! ;D thats why me, im still enjoying a single life..... because when i get into a relationship, i make sure that it will last a lifetime.... ;D ok mag rant lang ako . . . i realized with me it's always good to get rid of that crush crush notion and just really start it off as friends. i know mahirap pero when I have a crush on someone I always end up messing things up: nervous ka, interpreting every little thing, always evaluating whether what you did was right or wrong, ika nga in bike terms, your conscious of every single thing you do on the bike instead of simply enjoying the trail and experiencing that sense of flow. it's really different if there was friendship to build on. but you shouldn't pursue the friendship for the sake of courting her. labo ba? ganyan talaga hehehe i always believed it's quite ok to go out with a girl for no other reason than just to enjoy her company, not to pursue her or anything. honestly, would you eat at a fine dining resto with another guy? or watch a romantic comedy with a guy friend? we need to enjoy the company of the opposite sex for that. now here comes my old fashioned approach, why do you want to pursue her? i believe also guys should pursue a woman because he seriously wants to have a long-term relationship that is open to the possibility of marriage (and a lot of good women believe in this too). most will not agree, but I also believe it is the guy who should make the declaration of courtship. magpakalalaki tayo also, a courtship is successful whether maging kayo o dehins, because courtship is meant to be a phase where the two of you will determine together under God whether you want to spend the rest of your life together. two people sharing a life together is a serious matter, one that can give you a true lifetime partner through thick and thin, or an eternal hell of nagging and tempers flaring. when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, forever can't start soon enough hehehe. try reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye. |
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Post by fullspeed on Feb 6, 2006 13:01:18 GMT 8
ey is that the book written by joshua harris? i heard the guy is separated from his wife? what a testimony if thats true..sorry for the O.T. Very unlike that it is true... where did you hear that from? (o.t. again  duldog - I also recommend that book, very different from our usual courtship style, but very enlightening how God designed courtship to be |
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 13:13:12 GMT 8
course, if she's the outdoors type, why don't you try inviting her to the wondeful world of mountain biking? eh di pag kumagat yan you'll spend a lot of time together on the trail (mag-ingat ka lang sa mga tulad ni Brusko hehehehehe)
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Post by bilibidboy on Feb 6, 2006 13:16:06 GMT 8
fullspeed, heard that from a friend...up to now no confirmation if its true or not...rumours! btw, i have 3 of his books...boy meets girl given to me by my GF...hint,hint..(sorry OT nnmn..)
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 13:20:38 GMT 8
have you read it? hehehe my ex gave me I Kissed Dating Goodbye nun just when we were about to break-up. Wanted to burn that thing. Thought it was self-righteous @#$%. But somehow I got around to reading it (nung nag heal ng yung wounds haha drama) and it made a lot of sense pala.
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Post by Ben Dover on Feb 6, 2006 13:54:23 GMT 8
ey is that the book written by joshua harris? i heard the guy is separated from his wife? what a testimony if thats true..sorry for the O.T. Very unlike that it is true... where did you hear that from? (o.t. again duldog - I also recommend that book, very different from our usual courtship style, but very enlightening how God designed courtship to be fullspeed, can you give us the gist of what we (true blue bachelors) can expect out of reading this book?  |
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 14:46:41 GMT 8
master tolits, in summary, it's looking at boy-girl relationship in a Godly way. Medyo matindi ang I Kissed Dating Goodbye coz the author literally attacks all the current notions of dating (US setting to, so for the author dating is something like having a fling, not the friendly dating lang). As the first chapter goes, it's about going Beyond What Feels Good, Back to What IS Good.
"God's lordship doesn't merely tinker with my approach to romance -- it complete transforms it. God not only wants me to act differently, He wants me to act differently, He wants me to think differently-- to view love, purity, and singleness from His perspective, to have a new lifestyle and attitude."
If you're looking for movie-type romance, this book won't give that. It's there to challenge you to deconstruct your mass media concept of romance. pero i guess it begins there, before you can learn what is right. In that case move on to Boy Meets Girl - Say Hello to Courtship.
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 14:50:39 GMT 8
excerpts from the book Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating: 1.) Dating leads to intimacy but not commitment 2.) Dating tends to skip the 'friendship' stage of a relationship 3.) Dating often mistakes physical relationship for love 4.) Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships (like your biking buddies 5.) Dating, in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future 6.) Dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singlness 7.) Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character (mag mt bike na lang kayo, lalabas lahat ng tunay na katauhan ng tao sa trail |
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Post by xctofi on Feb 6, 2006 14:55:18 GMT 8
(mag-ingat ka lang sa mga tulad ni Brusko hehehehehe) indeed!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by BrusKO on Feb 6, 2006 15:05:37 GMT 8
course, if she's the outdoors type, why don't you try inviting her to the wondeful world of mountain biking? eh di pag kumagat yan you'll spend a lot of time together on the trail (mag-ingat ka lang sa mga tulad ni Brusko hehehehehe) katukayo! |
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duldog
Free Rider
beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder
Posts: 325
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Post by duldog on Feb 6, 2006 15:36:33 GMT 8
wowow! this is the first time somebody (who i don't even know) gave me sensible advice. i am 27 this feb and goin' bald at an alarming rate so i guess i might give a shot at this babe. keep it coming guys!!!
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 15:57:50 GMT 8
brad, we're lucky we're living at a time when semi-kal is in hehehehe. I really think it looks better to have a clean tough looking macho head rather than having hair on the side or a receding scalp.
it was definitely a liberating feeling when I decided to shave it off hehehehe. ala ng suklay suklay pa sa umaga
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Post by Ben Dover on Feb 6, 2006 16:17:54 GMT 8
hmm...too complicated pala...pag tinabihan mo at kinilig tapos na usapan (trans: if she giggles whenever you're around then she must be a horse hahaha!) seriously you must listen to marcs...he's got a nice trophy to prove it works ;-) |
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Post by shuzzs on Feb 6, 2006 16:55:10 GMT 8
Here are some advices that might help you through this stage:
1. Just be yourself and act nartural. It is easier said than done but you have to do it. Marc is right... we tend to be conscious of everything when we try to court someone. This prevents you to be yourself. You always think what others will say and not act as who you really are.
2. Win her by courting her... this does not stop at dates, not even after she accepts you as her BF, and even after she said 'Yes'. Oh... when courting her... you should let her know of your intention.
Based from experience... torpe guys tend to shy away from the risk of making a move because they thought they may lose a friend/crush/puppy love, etc.
The main problem here is not losing someone but rather not taking the risk.
As for me, I was not the same 'shy boy' after I won the heart of the girl I courted.
This boosted up my confidence and self-esteem which allowed me to be my true self
and not conform with what other say or think.
Right now, I have a beautiful wife whom I courted for about a year and a half. And she was my first and last GF (after we tied the knot). ;D
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 17:07:25 GMT 8
here's something to make it easier . . . 1.) go out on date because you sincerely want to get to know her. not because you want to make an impression. ask questions, listen (this is easier said than done, really, we have an entire training in the office on how to listen!), make eye contact. wag pag-usapan ang mt biking unless magtatanong sya . 2.) when you focus on her you become less conscious and therefore less nervous 3.) parang trail riding yan, if you are always conscious of what you are doing (ok press the brakes, lean here, balance this, balance that) ayun semplang! you need to focus on the trail. naks 4.) do your research. what does she like? do something different than the usual movie-dinner combo. something that sparks conversations. a play? art gallery? shopping for the perfect gift for her friend? MT BIKING!? hobie cat in Taal lake? wake boarding at Batangas? poetry reading at Powerbooks? 5.) Don't be dismayed if it comes out na baka dehins kayo meant to be eventually. Wag pilitin kung di talaga. It's like buying a bike (ang kulit sa bike analogy no?). You go in a bike shop thinking this is the bike you want. But after trying it out you realize Freerider ka pala at dehins XC. Go ahead and try another bike. Wag pilitin pang FR and XC bike. PS there;s this play showed at Ateneo High called Sinta. They usually show it only on Valentines. It's a simple play (as in no props except for this guy who stands in as a Wall). Pero the story is wonderful, serious comedy sya, about young love tested against the reality of life. Lovingly yours, Marc Da Mango |
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Post by Eikichi on Feb 6, 2006 17:47:18 GMT 8
ALso get rid of those day dreamin like both of you are walking down the beach just the 2 of you and doin sweet things like lovers do grrrrrrrrrr it only spoils the whole thing. Always start as a friend to her then when the right time comes tell her what you feel thus be ready for whats coming up, whether it would be a signal # 3 storm or your usual sunday morning ride. Just dont expect too much cause "TOO MUCH LOVE WILL KILL YOU" heheheheheheheh just me though ;D
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Post by marcs on Feb 6, 2006 17:54:21 GMT 8
eto mga pick-up lines . . .
you are like false teeth, i can';t smile without you
you are like dandruff, i can't get you out of my head
you are like smoking, you're a hard habit to break
you are like Fox Shox, you help me get through the rough stuff
you are like carbon fiber, sweet and sexy but with inner strength
you are like Kena Nevegals, you never slide out
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Post by Eikichi on Feb 6, 2006 17:56:16 GMT 8
Ask her out, a good movie would be good then walk her home, if you got a car POGI points sa kanya yan but its the though that matters, but before goin to a big movie date dont forget to flush the pipes hehehehehehehe if you know what I mean it helps sobra hahahahahahha ;D ;D also avoid those espionage techniques like watching here from a GPS screen or having someone taking pictures of her while walking in the street it wont intimidate her but it will fright her. ;D In short just be yourself brad dont rush things up  been there done that hehehehehe |
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Post by BrusKO on Feb 6, 2006 17:58:47 GMT 8
"if you are the matrix, then i am The One!"
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Post by BrusKO on Feb 6, 2006 18:00:07 GMT 8
Ask her out, a good movie would be good then walk her home but before goin to a big movie date dont forget to flush the pipes hehehehehehehe if you know what I mean it helps sobra hahahahahahha ;D ;D wahahahaha... is this from experience?  ?? nahihiwagaan ako sa balbon! |
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Post by Ben Dover on Feb 6, 2006 18:24:43 GMT 8
hehehe this is getting more and more interesting..pick-up lines yeah more pick-up lines...i need something to teach my son when he starts asking questions like these |
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Post by warlock^_^ on Feb 6, 2006 18:53:44 GMT 8
marcs, you badly need a long ride brad ;D is cheenky not jealous with the bike ? eto mga pick-up lines . . . you are like Fox Shox, you help me get through the rough stuff you are like carbon fiber, sweet and sexy but with inner strength you are like Kena Nevegals, you never slide out |
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Post by dayuhan on Feb 6, 2006 19:10:24 GMT 8
Ok, I'll try for a sensible answer.
First the fact that you work together gives you a huge advantage. You see each other every day, and you always have something to talk about.
As a start, be sure to always say hello, good morning, smile a lot and look her in the eye when you do (not a stare, just a friendly look with a friendly smile. Use her name a lot: not just "Good morning", but "Good morning, ______".
Observe the way she looks: if she's done her hair differently, or is wearing something you haven't seen, or seems to have put some extra effort into putting herself together, mention it: "Good morning, _____, you look great, I like the ____". Not every day, obviously.
This will depend on your work circumstances, but it's a good idea to think of some work-related problem or challenge, and ask her advice or opinion on it. If she has some specific area of expertise, make it within that. Think about it first, you don't want to sound like an idiot, but mostly you want to listen, and listen some more, and thank her very sincerely (good to save a follow-up question or two). This gives you some time in 1 on 1 conversation, and establishes that you respect her professionally, and will help you get more comfortable talking together. If you go to her work space to ask, look around and observe for any hints as to personal interests, hobbies, etc that would give you something to talk about. If you see her reading a book, get a copy, burn through it, and mention it to her!
This is all a good lead in to, say, asking her for a working lunch, or some other situation that will give you time together is a situation less demanding or threatening than a formal "date".
That's a start, at least, maybe someone else has ideas...?
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Post by Eikichi on Feb 6, 2006 19:31:48 GMT 8
Ask her out, a good movie would be good then walk her home but before goin to a big movie date dont forget to flush the pipes hehehehehehehe if you know what I mean it helps sobra hahahahahahha ;D ;D wahahahaha... is this from experience? ?? nahihiwagaan ako sa balbon! Its for you to know and for me to find out nyahahahahaha ;D ;D |
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Post by shuzzs on Feb 6, 2006 21:53:05 GMT 8
Observe the way she looks: if she's done her hair differently, or is wearing something you haven't seen, or seems to have put some extra effort into putting herself together, mention it: "Good morning, _____, you look great, I like the ____". Not every day, obviously. This is a killer... yes. Ladies want to be noticed. So you have to appreciate and admire what ever is new with them. Be really observant in this area. One more thing... I learned a lot from this song... I even narrated this to my wife when I was courting her... www.kumanta.com/lyrics-33.htmCheck the last stanza especially... |
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Post by allegra on Feb 6, 2006 22:53:29 GMT 8
eto mga pick-up lines . . . you are like false teeth, i can';t smile without you you are like dandruff, i can't get you out of my head you are like smoking, you're a hard habit to break you are like Fox Shox, you help me get through the rough stuff you are like carbon fiber, sweet and sexy but with inner strength you are like Kena Nevegals, you never slide out You remind me of my fave potato chips! Are you frito-lay? A friend had the coconuts to use this , kaso pang kornik lang ata yung girl coz she said," ay talaga?" nyahahaha actually my fave is: Miss ,I need your help You need to settle an argument between my friend and I , we cant agree on this eh ( feeling conyo ) Do yuo think it's ok for charming strangers to introduce himself to gorgeous women sitting alone in bars? If she says Yes - Hi , I'm Isteban ( sabay upo sa tabi nya ) If she says No - What!! ( sabay upo sa tabi nya ) I agree! Galit din ako sa mga babaero!! We really need to talk about these ba$tard$...... Yo have to be pretty far away from the speakers though |
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- i was born not knowing how to tell my feelings to a lady ;D) used to ask my buddies how to do it like a pro ;D (drinking and ride buddies, married and unmarried) but nobody gave me a sensible answer not even tips.
been there done that hehehehehe
??
