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Post by knobbyist on Sept 27, 2007 15:07:26 GMT 8
caller: Inday si sir mo ito, pumasok ka sa kwarto at kumuha ka ng pera, kailangan ko ng mabilis at naaksidente ako Inday: Aru, dugo, dugo gang kayo ano. Isusumbong ko kayo sa pules! caller: tanga! si Ser mo ito Inday!!! Inday: tanga ka rin!!! Si Ser tawag sa akin cupcake...
(trans) caller: inday this is sir, get some money in my room quick. i got into an accident and i need cash fast. Inday: yeah right... you guys are dugo dugo gang. im gonna tell the cops. caller: moron! this is sir Inday! Inday: you're a moron as well!!! sir calls me cupcake...
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Post by g.b.b on Dec 8, 2007 15:07:58 GMT 8
God made the world.....
and the rest are made in
CHINA
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Julia
XC Rider
S P A N K!
Posts: 131
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Post by Julia on Dec 19, 2007 20:13:33 GMT 8
caller: Inday si sir mo ito, pumasok ka sa kwarto at kumuha ka ng pera, kailangan ko ng mabilis at naaksidente ako Inday: Aru, dugo, dugo gang kayo ano. Isusumbong ko kayo sa pules! caller: tanga! si Ser mo ito Inday!!! Inday: tanga ka rin!!! Si Ser tawag sa akin cupcake... (trans) caller: inday this is sir, get some money in my room quick. i got into an accident and i need cash fast. Inday: yeah right... you guys are dugo dugo gang. im gonna tell the cops. caller: moron! this is sir Inday! Inday: you're a moron as well!!! sir calls me cupcake... hahaha! sobrang funny!!! my tummy aches!! ;D
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tuneinlito
Bike Commuter
Ride for fun earthling
Posts: 66
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Post by tuneinlito on Jan 9, 2008 9:13:14 GMT 8
Dito me EDSA grabe yung salpukan kanina ng dalawang bus, daming sugatan... naawa ako dun sa isa eh! Gumapang pa papunta sa driver, sabi:
"manong, sukli ko... studyante poh!"
------------------------------------------------
(trans) I'm in EDSA, a while ago 2 busses were in an accident, many are injured... i felt sorry for one of the passengers! Crawled towards the driver, and said:
"Manong, my change.... I'm a student"
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Post by ice on Jan 9, 2008 9:38:33 GMT 8
sa isang magkakarne judiks: totoy, pabili nga ng isang foot-long na hungarian sausage totoy: i-cha-chop ko na po ba? judiks: ay peste, anong 'kala mo sa pwet ko, alkansya? hahahaha! (trans:) inside a meatshop homo: hey kid, i wanna buy a foot-long hungarian sausage kid: sir would you want it chopped already? homo: @#$%^&( moron! what do you think of my arse, a coin bank? hohohoho! curahee!
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Post by knobbyist on Jan 9, 2008 9:41:16 GMT 8
Juan, Pedro and Jose sinned against the tribe and are now facing the chief. the chief ordered them to get a pair of fruit each and bring it back to him. Juan was the first to go back with a pair of dalandan, chief said "stick those up your ss, if you say ouch or if you smile... you'll be put to death". Juan immediately said ouch and was killed. Pedro arrived with 2 aratiris, he was ordered to do the same thing. he was almost done with the 2nd when he suddenly smiled... he was killed. Juan and Pedro saw each other in the afterlife and Juan said "why the hell did you smile, it was just aratiris?" Pedro replied "because i saw Jose arriving with a pair of langka."
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Post by ice on Jan 9, 2008 9:41:51 GMT 8
caller: Inday si sir mo ito, pumasok ka sa kwarto at kumuha ka ng pera, kailangan ko ng mabilis at naaksidente ako Inday: Aru, dugo, dugo gang kayo ano. Isusumbong ko kayo sa pules! caller: tanga! si Ser mo ito Inday!!! Inday: tanga ka rin!!! Si Ser tawag sa akin cupcake... (trans) caller: inday this is sir, get some money in my room quick. i got into an accident and i need cash fast. Inday: yeah right... you guys are dugo dugo gang. im gonna tell the cops. caller: moron! this is sir Inday! Inday: you're a moron as well!!! sir calls me cupcake... caller: inday si sir mo ito, pumasok ka sa kwarto at kumuha ka ng pera, kailangan ko ng mabilis at naaksidente ako inday: aru, dugo, dugo gang kayo ano. isusumbong ko kayo sa pules! caller: tanga! si ser mo ito inday!!! inday: tanga ka rin!!! kung si sir ka talaga, eh ano ang kulay ng panty ko kagabi?! (trans) caller: inday this is sir, get some money in my room quick. i got into an accident and i need cash fast. inday: yeah right... you guys are dugo dugo gang. im gonna tell the cops. caller: moron! this is sir inday! inday: you're a moron as well!!! if you're really sir, then, what's the color of my panty last night?! curahee!
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Post by ice on Jan 9, 2008 9:50:40 GMT 8
caller: inday si sir mo ito, pumasok ka sa kwarto at kumuha ka ng pera, kailangan ko ng mabilis at naaksidente ako inday: aru, dugo, dugo gang kayo ano. isusumbong ko kayo sa pules! caller: tanga! si ser mo ito inday!!! inday: tanga ka rin!!! paano ka magiging si sir, eh nakapatong sa akin si sir! (trans) caller: inday this is sir, get some money in my room quick. i got into an accident and i need cash fast. inday: yeah right... you guys are dugo dugo gang. im gonna tell the cops. caller: moron! this is sir inday! inday: you're a moron as well!!! how can you be sir, if sir is on top of me right now! curahee!
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Post by MR.McMuffin on Jan 9, 2008 12:08:25 GMT 8
Juan at Pedro sa MATH Teacher: Perdo 1+3 =? Pedro: 4 mam! Teacher: Juan 3 + 1 =? Juan: SEE! If it's difficult, you ask me.. Hah! FAVORITISM!
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Post by ice on Jan 9, 2008 12:51:15 GMT 8
Juan at Pedro sa MATH Teacher: Perdo 1+3 =? Pedro: 4 mam! Teacher: Juan 3 + 1 =? Juan: AYAN! AYAN! Pag mahirap, sakin itatanong.. Ayos ah! FAVORITISM! grade 1 math quizbee quizmaster: two plus two? lasalista: por! atenean: hahahaha! "por" daw oh! quizmaster: you have a better answer atenista? atenean: yup, it's three! curahee!
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bikebuggy
Lurker
what you think.. you become
Posts: 21
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Post by bikebuggy on Jan 10, 2008 6:58:55 GMT 8
hehe ;D
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Post by Ben Dover on Jan 15, 2008 15:11:11 GMT 8
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says : 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends'.
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Post by Ben Dover on Jan 15, 2008 15:12:21 GMT 8
Husband asks: 'Do u know the meaning of WIFE?? W ithout Information F ighting Every-time Wife replies , ' No, It means, With Idiot For Ever !!!'
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Post by g.b.b on Jan 21, 2008 8:29:53 GMT 8
6w0rds w0men use:
1. FINE: ds s d word women use 2 end an argumnt wen dey r ryt & u nid 2 shut up.
2. 5 MINS: f she s geting dressed, ds mins half an hr.
3. N0THING: ds s d calm b4 d st0rm. Ds mins sumthng & u shud b on ur t0es. Argumnts that begin w/ n0thng usually end in fine.
4. G0 AHEAD: ds s a dare, n0t a permissi0n. So, D0n't d0 it!
5. L0UD SIGH: ds mins she thinks ur an idi0t & w0ndrs y she s wastng her tym stndng hir & arguing wd u abt n0thng.
6. THATS OK: ds mins that she wnts 2 think l0ng & hard b4 deciding hw and wen u wil pay 4 ur mistakes.
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mikel
Urban Assaulter
Posts: 92
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Post by mikel on Feb 1, 2008 14:11:05 GMT 8
i received only the punctuation mark " . " as reply to a message i sent.
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 16:29:08 GMT 8
John goes to the family doctor for a check up. After he's done the doc says, "I have good news and bad news for you."
John says, "I'll take the good news first."
"Your wife has syphilis," says the G.P.
"How in the name of sweet Jesus is that good news?" asks John.
"You didn't give it to her," replied the doc.
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 16:30:58 GMT 8
An American businessman is in Japan. The Japanese businessmen take him out, get him drunk, and send him upstairs with a hooker. As he's f**k**g her, she starts screaming, "Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!"
He's going, "Yeah, baby, take it all..."
He keeps pumping, and she keeps screaming, "Nashagai ana! Nashagai ana!"
The next day he's playing golf with one of the Japanese guys.
He slices the ball, and it goes way off to the right. The
Japanese businessman says, "Nashagai ana."
The American asks, "What does that mean?"
He replies, "Wrong hole."
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 16:31:21 GMT 8
This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through
examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."
The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful! I'd rather have a baby!"
To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind, I have to
adjust the chair."
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 16:33:08 GMT 8
A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign that
reads, "Ice Cream Parlor: Every Flavor in the World".
"Bullshit," thinks the man and walks in. "So you say you have every flavor ice cream in the world? O.K., I would like three scoops of pussy flavored ice cream, please."
"No problem, sir."
The assistant gives the man three scoops of ice cream in a cone and the man takes a good lick. Grimacing, he says, "This doesn't taste like pussy, it tastes like shite!"
The assistant replies, "Of course it tastes like shite when you
take such long licks!"
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 16:35:26 GMT 8
A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to
find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came
about...
"Driving home along the highway, I saw this young woman looking tired and bedraggled, so I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. She had only some worn sandals on her feet, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they had gone out of style. She was cold so I gave her a sweater I bought you for your birthday that you never wore because the color didn't suit you.. Her pants were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but too small for you now.
"Then, when she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked: 'Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?'"
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 16:35:49 GMT 8
VALENTINE CARDS THAT DIDNT MAKE IT
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk but the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my prostitute.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished But now I'm fulfilled...SO MAKE ME A SANDWICH!
4. Through all the things that came to pass Our love has
grown but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty."
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 16:36:56 GMT 8
I forgot to tell you that I saw your doctor yesterday and he said that you have a disease called “INSOMYOT”…meaning dili makatulog kung dili kaiyot.
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Julia
XC Rider
S P A N K!
Posts: 131
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Post by Julia on Feb 12, 2008 16:43:57 GMT 8
6w0rds w0men use: 1. FINE: ds s d word women use 2 end an argumnt wen dey r ryt & u nid 2 shut up. 2. 5 MINS: f she s geting dressed, ds mins half an hr. 3. N0THING: ds s d calm b4 d st0rm. Ds mins sumthng & u shud b on ur t0es. Argumnts that begin w/ n0thng usually end in fine. 4. G0 AHEAD: ds s a dare, n0t a permissi0n. So, D0n't d0 it! 5. L0UD SIGH: ds mins she thinks ur an idi0t & w0ndrs y she s wastng her tym stndng hir & arguing wd u abt n0thng. 6. THATS OK: ds mins that she wnts 2 think l0ng & hard b4 deciding hw and wen u wil pay 4 ur mistakes. This is so true g.b.b!!! so to eric, " THAT'S OK" hahaha!!!
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 12, 2008 19:36:05 GMT 8
This is so true g.b.b!!! so to eric, " THAT'S OK" hahaha!!! tsk tsk... if that's the case.... nakakasakal!!! hehehe
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Post by crush25 on Feb 12, 2008 21:10:34 GMT 8
Fung Shui: kung salamin nasa hagdanan, swelte, grasya akyat.
kung salamin nasa pintuan, swelte, grasya pasok
kuing salamin nasa kisame ikaw swelte nasa motel ka!
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Post by knobbyist on Feb 12, 2008 22:11:03 GMT 8
dentist: im sorry but we have to stop this affair.
woman: but we're in love.
dentist: i know but we're running out of excuses to see each other... you only have one tooth left. ;D
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Post by g.b.b on Feb 14, 2008 0:18:22 GMT 8
dentist: im sorry but we have to stop this affair. woman: but we're in love. dentist: i know but we're running out of excuses to see each other... you only have one tooth left. ;D i/ve posted this in 1st page
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Post by redhotblood on Feb 26, 2008 12:37:55 GMT 8
On a science class: Teacher: Class our lesson for today is science? What is science? Pedro: Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am Teacher: ok pedro what is science? Pedro: Science?... Science is our lesson for today!!!
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Post by denise648 on Feb 26, 2008 22:23:57 GMT 8
Three contractors were asked to quote for the repair of the Whitehouse gate...
American Contractor: I'll charge $900. $500 for labor, $300 for materials, and $100 for me.
Mexican Contractor: I'll charge $700. $400 for labor, $200 for materials, and $100 for me.
Filipino Contractor: I'll charge $2,700!
Whitehouse Representative: Why so expensive?
Filipino Contractor: $1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and $700 for the Mexican to do the job
and of course, the Filipino got the contract
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Post by denise648 on Feb 26, 2008 22:29:39 GMT 8
3 teenagers in a mall
Jepoy: OMG, look at that girl she's soooo cute
Kevin: Yeah, and she's also sexy
Nathan: who? you mean that girl in red short skirt, hey I know that person wait I'll call her....... kuyaaahhh Ambet!
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