|
Post by whoopi on Sept 12, 2006 10:46:54 GMT 8
sayang, plenty of Tagalog messages won't get posted here. but here goes, a text message that cracked me up:
Can u believe things pple do? I was siting nxt 2 dis guy n church, n d midle of service he lit a cigarette! I was so shocked I nearly dropped my beer.
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 12, 2006 11:09:59 GMT 8
dear friends, pls stop sending me sinful jokes. i come frm a very religous family. My mother is a nun & my father is a priest.. tnx! Ü
|
|
|
Post by Dragunov on Sept 12, 2006 11:15:16 GMT 8
dear friends, pls stop sending me sinful jokes. i come frm a very religous family. My mother is a nun & my father is a priest.. tnx! Ü nice one gbb now u really made me laugh ;D
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 12, 2006 11:16:26 GMT 8
Question: What is the maximum speed of SEX?
take a wild guess
ANSWER: d maximum speed of sex is 68kph! (kasi pag umabot ng 69 BABALIKTAD kana)
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 12, 2006 11:18:23 GMT 8
Son: Dad, i txted my wife telling her dat i'll be coming home, but i was shocked to see her in bed w/ another man! Dad bakit ganun?
Dad: Son, baka di nya na receive yung text. Ü
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 12, 2006 11:25:13 GMT 8
Pinoy went to the US to have his lawit checked.
In the clinic, d pinoy pulled down his pants and exclaimed, SAKIT DOK!
American Doc blurted, SUCK IT YOURSELF!!!!
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 12, 2006 11:26:07 GMT 8
If one day u wake up alone....
AHHHHHHH LOSER!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ;P
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 12, 2006 11:29:18 GMT 8
DENTIST: We have to stop seeing each other... Halata na tayo ng Mister mo!
GIRL: But we love each other!
DENTIST: OO nga but we're running out of excuses. ISA NA LANG NGIPIN MO!!
|
|
|
Post by Ben Dover on Sept 12, 2006 11:30:59 GMT 8
i hope sumday u wud rmmbr me as d girl hu alwys smyld evn wn her heart ws broken & d1 hu wud alwys try 2 bryten up ur day evn f she cudnt bryten up her own....brusko
|
|
|
Post by quiesledaddy on Sept 12, 2006 11:32:26 GMT 8
GBB, you make Mandaluyong proud!! ;D
|
|
|
Post by whoopi on Sept 12, 2006 15:22:16 GMT 8
i hope sumday u wud rmmbr me as d girl hu alwys smyld evn wn her heart ws broken & d1 hu wud alwys try 2 bryten up ur day evn f she cudnt bryten up her own....brusko AHAHAHA! this had me rolling in stitches ;D won't BANDIDO be jealous? *joke only. peace*
|
|
|
Post by sabretooth on Sept 12, 2006 16:06:02 GMT 8
Joe returned home one night to find his wife lying naked in bed. His eyes went wide and he began to strip, only to stop suddenly when he saw a cigar in the ashtray beside the bed.
"All right," Joe shouted, "I demand to know where this cigar came from!"
A muffled voice came from under the bed, "Havana."
|
|
|
Post by sabretooth on Sept 12, 2006 16:07:34 GMT 8
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "You do God’s work. It's for free." The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to charge him saying, "You protect the public. It's for free." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at his shop. A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, "You serve the justice system. It's for free."
The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut
|
|
|
Post by tracer03 on Sept 12, 2006 21:33:53 GMT 8
3 bros named Bu, Chu and Fu migrated to the USA frm CHINA. Dey decided to change der names: BU became BUCK. CHU became CHUCK. FU decied to go back to CHINA
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 13, 2006 3:04:17 GMT 8
SEXY WIFE: Please Fix my car..
HUSBAND: no way!! do i look like a mechanic?!?
after 5 hours, car was fixed.
HUSBAND: Who fixed it?
SEXY WIFE: Our neighborsaid he'll fix the car if i'll have sex with him or if i cook for him.
HUSBAND: did you cook for him?!?
SEXY WIFE: do i look like a cook?!?
|
|
|
Post by Dragunov on Sept 13, 2006 3:23:19 GMT 8
ladies and gentlemen, i endorsed gbb to be PinoyMTBiker's official text clown ;D im amazed eh hehee, he never runs out ;D
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 13, 2006 4:30:18 GMT 8
ladies and gentlemen, i endorsed gbb to be PinoyMTBiker's official text clown ;D im amazed eh hehee, he never runs out ;D hehe it's becoz im using sun. tons of jokes are sent to me every minute. good thing my phone memory can handle it. more to come
|
|
|
Post by kulot_salot on Sept 13, 2006 9:05:21 GMT 8
Day1: Nerdy guy: hey, I’ll give you a thousand bucks to bend down & have sex with me. It’ll be fast. Sexy chick: not on your life!
Day2: Nerdy guy: hey, I’ll give you two thousand bucks to bend down & have sex with me. It’ll be fast. Faster than you can get the money from the floor. Sexy chick: (thinking) let me think first…
That night: Sexy chick: hon, a nerdy guy at work told me to bend down & have sex with him for two thousand bucks and it’ll be fast… faster than I can get the money from the floor. BF: you know, you say yes. Get the money and run. Sexy chick: ok…
Day3 (night): BF: how did it go? Sexy chick: well, he did give me two thousand bucks, but I was banged. BF: how? I told you to take the money and run! Sexy chick: I did! BF: so what happened?! Sexy chick: darn guy! Tossed the money on the floor… in coins!!!
|
|
|
Post by nhan on Sept 13, 2006 13:16:11 GMT 8
Boy texted his gf.....
I liked d way u kissed me last nyt.... especially when you've passed d chewing gum 2 my mouth....
GF replied..
What gum? I had a cough... it's phlegm...
|
|
|
Post by beetlebum on Sept 13, 2006 17:54:31 GMT 8
DENTIST: We have to stop seeing each other... Halata na tayo ng Mister mo! GIRL: But we love each other! DENTIST: OO nga but we're running out of excuses. ISA NA LANG NGIPIN MO!! hehe
|
|
|
Post by nhan on Sept 13, 2006 20:03:10 GMT 8
at the SEX SHOP...
Girl: Excuse me, wer r d VIBRATORS?
Clerk: Sa wall po, nakadisplay.
Girl: Ok, i'll buy the big RED one..
Clerk: Ma'am, FIRE EXTINGUISHER po yan!
|
|
|
Post by jr on Sept 13, 2006 22:39:08 GMT 8
Boy texted his gf..... I liked d way u kissed me last nyt.... especially when you've passed d chewing gum 2 my mouth.... GF replied.. What gum? I had a cough... it's phlegm... Yikes....
|
|
soctrumbiker
Free Rider
It's not the ride, it's the rider
Posts: 243
|
Post by soctrumbiker on Sept 14, 2006 1:48:13 GMT 8
Girl: Judge nirape po ako don sa library... Judge: lintik ah!? andaming tao sa library di ka nagpasaklolo?? Girl: dehins po kasi may nakasign "SILENCE PLEASE!" Ü @gbb ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 16, 2006 4:41:00 GMT 8
CORPORATE CODES FOR OFFICE GIRL
VP: Virgin Pa SVP: Sana Virgin Pa FVP: Feeling Virgin Pa EVP: Ewan kung Virgin Pa CEO: Certified Expert in Oralsex. Ü
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 16, 2006 4:42:51 GMT 8
Muslim & Priest at a party...
PRIEST: Pork really tastes good. Tell me, when are you goin to break down & have some?
MUSLIM: At your wedding
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 16, 2006 4:44:48 GMT 8
Love is the sweetest affection inpired by the eyes, spoken by the lips, dedicated by the heart, transmitted to the soul and...........
proven in bed!
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 16, 2006 4:49:47 GMT 8
What is sex?
MAN: A minute of pleasure, years of pressure!
WIFE: Moments of ecstacy, decades of slavery!
QUERIDA: Stolen time, will never be mine!
PROSTI: Next!
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 16, 2006 4:52:13 GMT 8
SYLVIA: Mare, try using VIBRATOR pag wala si Pare.
CRISTY: Mare, i've tried it.....masakit!! nabasag lahat ng ngipin ko!!!
|
|
|
Post by g.b.b on Sept 19, 2006 8:46:43 GMT 8
HOST: Miss Cebu, what is your Edge over the other finalist!!?
MISS CEBU: ............ (Thinkin hard)
MISS CEBU: (Very Proud) MABUHAY!!!!! My Edge is...............
19 yrs. old.. Ü
|
|
rorschach
Free Rider
"It can't rain all the time."
Posts: 336
|
Post by rorschach on Sept 26, 2006 4:45:06 GMT 8
English class, spelling is the topic.
Teacher : Juan, can you spell AMBULANCE?
Juan : A - M - B - U - L...
Teacher : Faster!
Juan : Wee-woo! Wee-woo! Wee-woo! Wee-woo! (sounding like a siren)
;D
|
|