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Post by goldenboy on Jun 9, 2006 6:56:06 GMT 8
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving
you for good. I've been a good woman to you for
seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you had quit your job today
and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even
wore a brand new negligee. You came
home and ate in two minutes yes, and went
straight to sleep after watching the game. You
don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your
BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
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Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving
your letter. It's true that you and I have been
married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so
much to try to drown out your constant nagging.
Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you
cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that
came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My
mother raised me to not say anything if you can't
say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must
have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
negligee because the price tag was still on it. I
prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother
had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
could work it out. So when I discovered that I had
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a
reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you
always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you
won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my
brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a
problem.
Signed
Rich As Hell and Free!
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 9, 2006 7:54:09 GMT 8
Female Comebacks!
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die
laughing
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 9, 2006 7:54:38 GMT 8
Enjoyable jokes
1) Three professors had walked down to the train
station from the University. They were so absorbed
in their conversation that they didn't hear the train
arrive, but they did notice the noise of the train as
it started to depart.
After a desperate rush two of them manage to
scramble onboard. The third looked sad and a
passing railway official said, 'Don't feel bad, atleast
two out of three of you made it.'
'True…', sighed the professor, 'But the other two
were only here to see me off!'
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2) Santa and Banta Singh rob a bank and mess it
up, managing to escape with two sacks that they
find on the floor. And they take one sack each.
After awhile they meet again and one asks the
other, 'What did you find in your sack?'
'Ten lakh Rupees!'
'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the
cash?'
'I bought a house. How about your sack?'
'Bah... it was full of bills.'
'And what did you do with them?'
'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'
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3) Little Lalloo was eating breakfast one morning
and got to thinking about things. 'Mommy,
mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his
head?' he asked his mother.
'He thinks a lot,' replied his mother, pleased with
herself for coming up with a good answer to her
husband's baldness.
Or she was until little Lalloo thought for a second
and asked, 'So why do you have so much hair?'
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4) A little boy returning home from his first day at
school said to his mother, 'Mom, what's sex?'
His mother, who believed in all the most modern
educational theories, gave him a detailed
explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky
subject.
When she had finished, the little lad produced an
enrollment form which he had brought home from
school and said, 'Yes, but how am I going to get
all that into this one little square?'
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5) One Bengali Babu went to Cannought Place in
New Delhi to purchase an umbrella. He had been
told in Calcutta that one could bargain for better
prices in Delhi also. Bengali Baboo: How much
does this umbrella cost?
Shopkeeper: Rs. 200
Bengali Babu: Can I have it for Rs. 100?
Shopkeeper: Ok I'll give it to you for Rs.150.
Bangali Babu: Well can I have it for Rs. 75 then?
Shopkeeper: OK, take it for Rs. 100.
Bangali Babu: Can I have it for Rs. 50?
Ths shopkeeper is pretty angry now: Why don't
you take it for free??!!
Bengali Babu: OK, can I have two of them?
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6) Newlyweds Santa Singh and Jaspinder were on
their honeymoon trip and were driving down in their
car to Chandigarh from their little town in Punjab.
They are nearing Chandigarh when Santa Singh
puts his hand on Jaspinder's knee. Giggling,
Jaspinder says shyly, 'Oye Santaji, you can go
farther than that if you want to…'
So Santa Singh drives to Shimla.
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7) Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up
her son. 'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!'
'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers
hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on
now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another,
you're the Principal!'
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8) The boss who was on the 25th floor of the
building called up the clerk on the ground floor for
an important file. Since it was rather urgent the
boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that
he should hurry with the file.
After more than 30 minutes the clerk appears all
tired and panting for breath.
The Boss asks him why he was panting and what
caused the huge delay.
The clerk replies, 'Boss when I went to the lift it
said 'during an emergency please use the
staircase'!!!
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9) Once Santa and Banta happened to be together
in Delhi. Having excursion tickets, they boarded a
DTC double decker. Banta, finding no vacant seat
in the lower deck, went to the upper deck and took
a seat.
He was surprised to see that there was no driver in
the upper deck. Showing his anxiety, he asked
Santa if there was a driver in the lower deck.
Promptly came the reply that there was indeed a
driver.
Banta than said, 'Utte te wahe guru challanda pia
hia!' (God is driving this upper deck himself).
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10) Santa Singh spoke frantically into the
phone, 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions
are only two minutes apart!'
'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked.
'No, you idiot!' Santa shouted. 'This is her husband!'
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 9, 2006 7:55:08 GMT 8
COMPANY POLICIES
Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the
room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas
hanging from a hook on the ceiling.
Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all
the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which
makes them miserable.
Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to
climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not
wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him
up. Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever
attempts to climb the ladder.
One of the original monkeys is then removed, and
a new monkey is put in the room. Seeing the
bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of
the other monkeys are doirg the obvious, but,
undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the
ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and
beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he
no longer attempts to climb the ladder.
A second original monkey is removed and replaced.
The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder,
but all the other monkeys hammer the @#$% out of
him. This includes the previous new monkey, who,
grateful that he's not on the receiving end this time,
participates in the beating because all the other
monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea
why he's attacking the new monkey.
One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced.
Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of
them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of
them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will
enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who
tries, without having any idea why.
"AND THAT'S HOW ANY COMPANY'S POLICIES
GET ESTABLISHED
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 9, 2006 7:55:43 GMT 8
BRILLIANT WAYS GIRLS TURN GUYS DOWN!!
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face
like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a
face like yours!!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same
time!!!
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!
HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us
together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 9, 2006 7:56:06 GMT 8
Bill Gates after Death
Read what happened to bill after death
Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this
one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or
Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by
putting a computer in almost every home in the
world and yet you created that ghastly Windows.
I'm going to do something I've never done before.
I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the
difference between the two?"
God said, "You can take a peek at both places
briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at
Hell first?" "Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"
Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy
beach with clear waters. There were thousands of
beautiful women running around, playing in the
water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining and the temperature was just
perfect!
Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to
see Heaven!"
To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went.
Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky
with angels drifting about playing harps and
singing.
It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Mr.
Gates thought for only a brief moment and
rendered his decision.
"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."
"As you desire," said God.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the
late billionaire to see how things were going. He
found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the
hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned
and tortured by demons.
"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded
with anguish and despair.
"This is awful! This is not what I expected at all!
What happened to the beach and the beautiful
women playing in the water?"
"Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver"
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 9, 2006 7:56:47 GMT 8
I Love this DOCTOR!!!! Best medical advice I've had
in years!
> HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can
prolong life; is this true?
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats,
and that's it... don't waste
>them on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up your heart
>will not make you live longer; that's like saying
you can extend the life
>of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer? Take a nap.
> Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more
fruits and vegetables?
>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What
does a cow eat? Hay and
>corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a
steak is nothing more than an
>efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to
your system. Need grain?
>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy
>vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100%
of your recommended daily
>allowance of vegetable products.
> Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
is distilled wine, that
>means they take the water out of th e fruity bit so
you get even more of
>the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of
grain. Bottoms up!
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. If
>you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
>Q: What are some of the advantages of
participating in a regular exercise
>program?
>>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good !
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
>A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried
these days in vegetable oil.
>In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad
>for you?
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
little soft around the
>middle?
>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You should
>only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
stomach.
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
>A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best
>feel-good food around!
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain
whales to me.
> Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Have a nice day!
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Post by bikehunter on Jun 9, 2006 21:21:30 GMT 8
dwayne wade and james yap conversation... the conversation that translates english and filipino
dwayne: hey dude wassup!?
james: hoy pare kumusta!
dwayne: wat did u say?
james: ano sinabi mo?
dwayne: i cant understand u!
james: hndi kta maunawaan!
dwayne: huh?
james: hah?
dwayne: what?!
james: ano?!
dwayne: i dont care what u said!
james: wla akong pakialam sa sinabi mo!
dwayne: can we be frends?
james: pwede batayong maging kaibigan?
dwayne: u got msn?
james: meron ka bang yahoo?.................
dwayne: do u understand me?
james: naunawaan mo ba ako?
----------------------------------------
u can add up if u like!.....
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Post by bikehunter on Jun 9, 2006 21:23:33 GMT 8
and ur jokes hurt me. i hurt myself from laughing? will u give me permission to spread these funny jokes to my frnds?
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 13, 2006 7:37:49 GMT 8
Go ahead brad! I just got that somewhere else site... go! share the laughters to your friends. -Cheers!
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 13, 2006 8:27:48 GMT 8
Humor from Great Minds
“As you get older three things happen. The first is
your memory goes, and I can't remember the other
two...”
Sir Norman Wisdom
“One of the most difficult things in the world is to
convince a woman that even a bargain costs
money.”
Edgar Watson Howe
“A true friend is one who overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success!”
Doug Larson
“A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie!”
Eric Bolton
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a
new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't
work that way, so I stole one and asked him to
forgive me.”
Erno Philips
“ I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.”
Robert Paul
“We spend the first twelve months of our children's
liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next
twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
Phyllis Diller
“Laughter is the closest distance between two
people.”
Victor Borge
“Start every day with a smile and get it over with.”
W.C. Fields
“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to
somebody else.”
Will Rogers
“Always get married early in the morning. That
way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a
whole day.”
Mickey Rooney
“Women now have choices. They can be married,
not married, have a job, not have a job, be married
with children, unmarried with children.
Men have the same choice we've always had: work
or prison.”
Tim Allen
“If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love
you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' -
they leave skid marks.”
Rita Rudner
“I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there
when it happens.”
Woody Allen
“Advice is what we ask for when we already know
the answer but wish we didn't.”
Erica Jong
“Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of
it alive.”
Elbert Hubbard
“Always and never are two words you should
always remember never to use.”
Wendell Johnson
“In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's
how your wife found out.”
Joey Adams
“I've been in love with the same woman for forty-
one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.”
Henry Youngman
“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of
birth control are already born ?”
Benny Hill
" Nothin is Impossible in this world. The word
Impossible itself says I'm Possible"
Hussain Bhindarwala
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Post by bikehunter on Jun 15, 2006 20:20:34 GMT 8
bwahahaha! go to www.wimp.comthers lots of funny stuff there! |
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Post by xctofi on Jun 21, 2006 10:43:06 GMT 8
got this from an email with a subject line : "English language for pinoys"
"Guys, let's call it tonight!"
"All of a suddenly..."
"C'mon! Let's get it on with it!"
"When it rains, it's four."
"Thanks God!"
"The nerves!" or "The nerd!"
"The idea crossed at the back of my mind."
"(name of person), eat your hat out!"
"This is our rooster of clients..."
"The more the manyer."
"It's a no-win-win situation."
"Burn the bridge when you get there."
"Anulled and void."
"Mute and academic."
"C'mon let's join us!"
"If worse comes to shove."
"Are you joking my leg?"
"It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore."
"What are friends are for?"
"You can never can tell."
"Well well well. Look do we have here!"
"Let's give them a big hand of applause."
"Been there, been that."
"Forget it about it."
"Give him the benefit of the daw."
"It's a blessing in the sky."
"Right there and right then."
"Where'd you came from?"
"Take things first at a time."
"You're barking at the wrong dog."
"You want to have your cake and bake it too."
"First and for all"
"Now and there."
"I'm only human nature."
"The sky's the langit."
"That's what I'm talking about it."
"One of these days is not like the other."
"So far, so good, so far."
"Time is of the elements."
"In the wink of an eye."
"The feeling is actual."
"For all intense and purposes."
"I ran into some errands."
"Hi. I'm (state your name), what's yours?"
"What is the world is coming to?"
"What is the next that is?"
"Get the most of both worlds."
"Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila."
"Whatever you say so."
"Base-to-base casis."
"My answers have been prayered."
"Please me alone!"
"It's as brand as new."
"So... what's a beautiful girl like you?...."
"I can't take it anymore of this!"
"Are you sure ka na ba?" (My personal favorite!)
"Can't you just cut me some slacks?"
"I couldn't care a d@mn!"
"what's your next class before this?"
"nothing in this world is perfect except the word change."
"Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the
top?(ulitin natin hanggang mamatay tayo.)
"my dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs!" (translation:daming
pasalubong ng tatay ko)
"standard & chartered bank"
"I'm very iterated! (translation:galit sya!)
"I'm sorry, my boss just passed away." (translation : kakadaan lang
ng boss nya.)
"Hello, my boss is out of town, would you like to wait?"
"What happened after the erection of mayon volcano?"
"Don't touch me not!"
"Hello,.. for a while, please hang yourself..."
"It's spilled milk under the bridge."
"Don't change anything! keep it at ease."
"Hello mcdo, magiinquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal?"
"Out of fit ako these days e..."
"Bring down the house down!"
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Post by goldenboy on Jun 27, 2006 4:18:54 GMT 8
Japan's own way in pranking people..... hahahahaha!
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Post by qt_kat on Aug 1, 2006 21:48:39 GMT 8
Please help me answer these questions:
1. Does Jennifer Love Hewitt?
2. Where did Vincent Van Gogh?
3. Why is Norman Black?
4. Where did Sandara Park?
5. Is Chow Yun Fat?
6. What did Henry Sy?
7. Is Lucio Tan?
8. When will Orlando Bloom?
I really dont know the answers and I'm sure Wilma Doesnt too!
;D ;D ;D
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Post by dEvINci on Aug 3, 2006 12:02:45 GMT 8
Ang kay Victor WOOD!!!!!!
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Post by sabretooth on Nov 11, 2006 11:39:08 GMT 8
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three
sons.
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the
window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was
lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how
could she possibly continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.
When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too
began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself
in he head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents and the cow dead,
and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.
When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank.
She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if
you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your
parents and the cow to you."
The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to
satisfy her again.
So the mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had
happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.
The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a
row, I will make everything right."
And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to
satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.
The youngest son, woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in
the field, and his brothers gone.
He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the
river to throw himself in.
And there he also met the Mermaid.
"I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right
if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."
The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"
The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request.
Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?"
And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said,
"Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me
thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect
health."
Then the young fellow asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times
in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"
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Post by sabretooth on Nov 11, 2006 11:40:50 GMT 8
A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five shots.
The bartender gives him an odd look since he's all by
himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them
up on the bar. The man downs them all quickly.
He finishes the last one and calls out, "Four shots,
please!" The bartender serves up four shots and lines
them on the bar.
The man downs them all.
Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three. And
one after the other, he knocks them back.
"Two shots!" he calls, and the bartender places two shots in front of him.
Down they go.
As the man slams the last one down on the bar, he says, "One shot
bartender."
So the bartender fills the glass.
The man sits there, staring at it for a moment, trying
to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says, "You know, it's a funny
thing, but the less I drink, the drunker I get."
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Post by austinomeng on Nov 30, 2006 13:40:33 GMT 8
MV Liwanag sa Dilim was sinking fast, there was nothing the captain could do but to inform everyone onboard to abandon ship, he asked for a quick head count and told his crew to distribute the lifejackets, then he asked "does anyone here knows how to pray?" no one replied, he asked again,
a brave man raised his hands...THEN THE CAPTAIN SAID "OKAY YOUNG MAN START PRAYING, WE ARE 1 LIFEJACKET SHORT!"
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Post by Ben Dover on Dec 7, 2006 18:02:03 GMT 8
The Restroom...
In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist. He pushed WW warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your p*nis is under your pillow."
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Post by Ben Dover on Dec 14, 2006 15:16:53 GMT 8
SUNDAY MORNING Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "he'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along." NOTE: Mods please free to delete this if you deemed it inappropriate.  |
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