Post by kulot_salot on Feb 14, 2008 13:43:35 GMT 8
11 Things Women Don't Know About Men
Plus one thing they probably do know, but won't admit
1. Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It's not just futile, it's physically impossible.
2. Yes, we do think Jessica Alba is hot. Sometimes we're even dumb enough to admit it.
3. Don't ask us to understand your shoe fetish. Asking us to respect it is even sort of pushing it.
4. You do look good without makeup, just not as good as you look with it.
5. Ever notice how we don't fight with our male friends? That's why we get so frustrated when we fight with you.
6. You care what you're wearing infinitely more than we do. In fact, if you're naked when you open the front door, you won't hear an argument from us.
7. You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting. Because if it is, we're all over it.
8. There should a statute of limitations on stupid things that we said that can come back to haunt us. I propose 24 hours.
9. Cooking dinner for a man is like buying flowers for a woman, except it takes a lot more time, effort and thought for you to do it. Thanks. We appreciate it.
10. We actually like your girly pet-names for us, but please, not in front of the guys!
11. Just because we like looking at the women in Maxim doesn't mean we want to actually converse with the women in Maxim. Not for long, anyway.
12. Your nice guy friends are the most reliable source for telling you if your new boyfriend's a jerk. And he probably is. (By the way, you might want to consider marrying that nice guy who's giving you advice about the jerk.)
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Be Irresistible for Valentine's Day
8 secrets of famous sirens
Are you truly ready for Valentine's Day? You're not unless you're prepared to unleash your inner seductress and do it with confidence. Because you, my dear, are the woman he can't live without. He may not quite understand that yet. Take a few tips from the greatest "sirens" in history, many of whom are still casting their spell today.
Deep down, we all have the power to attract -- to strut, crow, spread our feathers, and bring men shuddering to their knees. Still, it doesn't hurt to borrow a few tips from experts like Jackie O, Marilyn Monroe, and Coco Chanel.
No serious prospects on the horizon? Never fear. There soon will be. Here are eight siren secrets to get you ready for Valentine's Day.
1. Add a Dash of Mystery
So far you've been witty, warm, and wonderfully available. Now it's time to do a Jackie O and disappear. Not forever, mind you, but an occasional night or a weekend will do the trick. Better still if he can't reach you by phone or email.
Jackie drove Jack Kennedy wild with that mysterious agenda of hers. When your plans don't include him, you're oh-so-irresistible.
2. Woo Him with Food
"Cooking is not about applying heat, procedure, method, but about transformation of a more intimate kind," says the siren chef Nigella Lawson. Seduction starts when you cook him his favorite meal, and that might mean day-old pot roast, mashed potatoes, and chocolate milk. "Paint the canvas," says Nigella -- flowers on the table, a pot boiling on the stove, and you the seductress in the middle of it all. Dig in yourself, she advises. Show him you're a woman of voluptuous appetites.
3. "Pamelize" Him
She was U.S. ambassador to France during the Clinton years. But in her heyday she was the woman others wouldn't allow their husbands within a ten-foot radius of. When Pamela Digby (Churchill Hayward Harriman) wanted to charm a man, she focused in and hung breathless on his every word. Give it a whirl.
Ask him how he got so smart, so handsome, so strong. Then actively listen to his answer instead of interrupting with your own. "Pamelizing," it's called, after the woman who made listening a deeply seductive art.
4. Channel a Little Marilyn
In "The Seven Year Itch," Marilyn Monroe's white skirt collided with an updraft from a subway grate, causing men all over the world to lose their minds. Anything that looks like it might come undone unexpectedly will work -- with the exception of pants so tight they're about to expose your posterior. The slippery shoulder strap and the descending neckline are a good place to start. There's nothing wrong with the tasteful display of a little skin.
5. Make Him Laugh
If he thinks you're funny, he's probably already spellbound -- as the late actress Carole Lombard learned. She won Clark Gable with a fun-loving prank, after their on-screen love scenes didn't get a rise out of him.
Take a tip from Lombard: tell him a great joke that makes him laugh until he cries. He'll think it's sexy when you do it with aplomb (i.e., without flubbing the punch line). Better still, make it off-color, steering clear of the raunchy lines. You'll see. He'll be delightfully surprised, possibly flustered, and kind of turned on.
6. Flirt with Adventure
Women pride themselves on taming their men. Still, he hears the call of the wild and finds it hard to resist a woman who seizes the day. You can trace Camilla Parker-Bowles's earliest seduction of Prince Charles to her sense of adventure -- on the hunting field, in love, and (it's said) in the boudoir. Forget the makeup -- take him hang-gliding, say, or camping in the deep dark woods.
7. Use His Name
It's a small gesture but immensely flattering -- punctuate your conversation with his name. "You look so wonderful, Lionel, in your tuxedo I thought George Clooney had come through the door." Siren newswomen such as Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters use the technique to make their interview subjects cave. And they do, time and time again. It's a verbal caress -- like touching but not quite as overt. Careful not to overdo, lest he suspect you are trying to close a sale.
8. Find Your Signature Scent
"It's an unseen, unforgettable, ultimate fashion accessory. It heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure," said the matchless fashionista Coco Chanel. Coco invented Chanel No. 5 to evoke "eternal woman," and sales went through the roof when Marilyn Monroe confessed it was all she ever wore to bed. Choose a scent that spins your irresistible legend faithfully. It's an intimate part of who you are. To him, you're as irresistible as you smell. Tonight he'll be moved by your fragrance on his pillow. Your scent will bring you to mind even long after you've ridden off into the sunset with another man.
Plus one thing they probably do know, but won't admit
1. Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It's not just futile, it's physically impossible.
2. Yes, we do think Jessica Alba is hot. Sometimes we're even dumb enough to admit it.
3. Don't ask us to understand your shoe fetish. Asking us to respect it is even sort of pushing it.
4. You do look good without makeup, just not as good as you look with it.
5. Ever notice how we don't fight with our male friends? That's why we get so frustrated when we fight with you.
6. You care what you're wearing infinitely more than we do. In fact, if you're naked when you open the front door, you won't hear an argument from us.
7. You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting. Because if it is, we're all over it.
8. There should a statute of limitations on stupid things that we said that can come back to haunt us. I propose 24 hours.
9. Cooking dinner for a man is like buying flowers for a woman, except it takes a lot more time, effort and thought for you to do it. Thanks. We appreciate it.
10. We actually like your girly pet-names for us, but please, not in front of the guys!
11. Just because we like looking at the women in Maxim doesn't mean we want to actually converse with the women in Maxim. Not for long, anyway.
12. Your nice guy friends are the most reliable source for telling you if your new boyfriend's a jerk. And he probably is. (By the way, you might want to consider marrying that nice guy who's giving you advice about the jerk.)
------------------------
Be Irresistible for Valentine's Day
8 secrets of famous sirens
Are you truly ready for Valentine's Day? You're not unless you're prepared to unleash your inner seductress and do it with confidence. Because you, my dear, are the woman he can't live without. He may not quite understand that yet. Take a few tips from the greatest "sirens" in history, many of whom are still casting their spell today.
Deep down, we all have the power to attract -- to strut, crow, spread our feathers, and bring men shuddering to their knees. Still, it doesn't hurt to borrow a few tips from experts like Jackie O, Marilyn Monroe, and Coco Chanel.
No serious prospects on the horizon? Never fear. There soon will be. Here are eight siren secrets to get you ready for Valentine's Day.
1. Add a Dash of Mystery
So far you've been witty, warm, and wonderfully available. Now it's time to do a Jackie O and disappear. Not forever, mind you, but an occasional night or a weekend will do the trick. Better still if he can't reach you by phone or email.
Jackie drove Jack Kennedy wild with that mysterious agenda of hers. When your plans don't include him, you're oh-so-irresistible.
2. Woo Him with Food
"Cooking is not about applying heat, procedure, method, but about transformation of a more intimate kind," says the siren chef Nigella Lawson. Seduction starts when you cook him his favorite meal, and that might mean day-old pot roast, mashed potatoes, and chocolate milk. "Paint the canvas," says Nigella -- flowers on the table, a pot boiling on the stove, and you the seductress in the middle of it all. Dig in yourself, she advises. Show him you're a woman of voluptuous appetites.
3. "Pamelize" Him
She was U.S. ambassador to France during the Clinton years. But in her heyday she was the woman others wouldn't allow their husbands within a ten-foot radius of. When Pamela Digby (Churchill Hayward Harriman) wanted to charm a man, she focused in and hung breathless on his every word. Give it a whirl.
Ask him how he got so smart, so handsome, so strong. Then actively listen to his answer instead of interrupting with your own. "Pamelizing," it's called, after the woman who made listening a deeply seductive art.
4. Channel a Little Marilyn
In "The Seven Year Itch," Marilyn Monroe's white skirt collided with an updraft from a subway grate, causing men all over the world to lose their minds. Anything that looks like it might come undone unexpectedly will work -- with the exception of pants so tight they're about to expose your posterior. The slippery shoulder strap and the descending neckline are a good place to start. There's nothing wrong with the tasteful display of a little skin.
5. Make Him Laugh
If he thinks you're funny, he's probably already spellbound -- as the late actress Carole Lombard learned. She won Clark Gable with a fun-loving prank, after their on-screen love scenes didn't get a rise out of him.
Take a tip from Lombard: tell him a great joke that makes him laugh until he cries. He'll think it's sexy when you do it with aplomb (i.e., without flubbing the punch line). Better still, make it off-color, steering clear of the raunchy lines. You'll see. He'll be delightfully surprised, possibly flustered, and kind of turned on.
6. Flirt with Adventure
Women pride themselves on taming their men. Still, he hears the call of the wild and finds it hard to resist a woman who seizes the day. You can trace Camilla Parker-Bowles's earliest seduction of Prince Charles to her sense of adventure -- on the hunting field, in love, and (it's said) in the boudoir. Forget the makeup -- take him hang-gliding, say, or camping in the deep dark woods.
7. Use His Name
It's a small gesture but immensely flattering -- punctuate your conversation with his name. "You look so wonderful, Lionel, in your tuxedo I thought George Clooney had come through the door." Siren newswomen such as Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters use the technique to make their interview subjects cave. And they do, time and time again. It's a verbal caress -- like touching but not quite as overt. Careful not to overdo, lest he suspect you are trying to close a sale.
8. Find Your Signature Scent
"It's an unseen, unforgettable, ultimate fashion accessory. It heralds your arrival and prolongs your departure," said the matchless fashionista Coco Chanel. Coco invented Chanel No. 5 to evoke "eternal woman," and sales went through the roof when Marilyn Monroe confessed it was all she ever wore to bed. Choose a scent that spins your irresistible legend faithfully. It's an intimate part of who you are. To him, you're as irresistible as you smell. Tonight he'll be moved by your fragrance on his pillow. Your scent will bring you to mind even long after you've ridden off into the sunset with another man.