Post by coolangot ☺ on Jul 7, 2005 10:32:08 GMT 8
isang public service po para sa mga in a relationship dyan ;D
ARE YOU BEING TWO-TIMED?
BY BILL KEITH
You've left your sweetie two voicemails and sent a text message, and
still you've heard nothing. And you're starting to get that bad,
suspicious feeling. Though you've both said you're exclusive at this
point, a little light bulb has just flicked on in your brain and—a-
ha!—you're thinking, "I'm being two-timed." Before you leave him that
next (threatening) next message, take some tips from Anthony
DeLorenzo. He's an infidelity specialist and private investigator
with All State Investigations, a nationwide firm that receives at
least 300 calls a week from suspicious men and women looking for
answers and evidence about their honeys. Here are his six key signs
that the love of your life may have another love life cooking behind
your back.
1. Phone flubs
The telltale hang-up when you pick up your beloved's home phone is a
thing of the past; now, cell phones make communication between lovers
much easier. But they've also created new problems…they leave an
evidence trail: "We were out to dinner one night, he got a call and
when I asked who it was, he had a lot of trouble coming up with an
answer," recalls Alex from Baltimore. "A few minutes later, he went
to the bathroom and left his phone, so I had to look. Of course his
ex-girlfriend's name came up on the missed call list." It's not just
the call log that can get cheaters in trouble: "The cell-phone bill
is a huge indicator," advises DeLorenzo. "It's the easiest place to
gather evidence—repeated, unfamiliar calls with a longer duration
than others, for instance, especially early in the morning or late at
night." So if your partner gets weirded out when you see his cell
phone bill out, it's probably not because he's embarrassed by the
extravagant minutes plan he signed up for.
2. Working overtime
Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend's work hours aren't always
consistent doesn't necessarily mean you're being cheated on, but you
could well be in trouble: "It's hard to come home from work and go
back out to meet up with someone, so using the `working late' excuse
to account for missing time is a natural," says DeLorenzo. "I used to
call him at the office when he was supposedly working late, and he
wouldn't be there," recalls Heather of Miami. "He had menAtioned a
female coworker a few times, so I started asking for her when he
wasn't there and guess who else was never available?"
3. A new interest in the net
"Guys still primarily use the Internet for porn," says
DeLorenzo, "But I'd say that 90% of the women in chat rooms are in
relationships and looking for someone to cheat with." Email trails,
however, are a problem for guys and girls alike. If you find your
partner slamming their laptop every time you walk in on them checking
their email (for the hundredth time that day), it's fairly likely
that they aren't planning you a surprise party. If it's a joint
account (or if you know your sweetheart's password and are the kind
of person who'd snoop), you can search for the truth. There's also
the always good tactic of just asking for the truth.
4. Romance revisions
A sudden lack of interest in sex or a sudden display of new
techniques can be solid indicators that something's up. Women who
cheat, for example, often need to separate their two
relationships: "They don't come home after having a tryst and then
have sex with their partner," says DeLorenzo. So if she's not all
that interested in a romp with you, it could mean she's romping
elsewhere. Men, on the other hand, tend to trip themselves up when
they bust out new moves they've learned from someone else. "Women
always tell me they first got suspicious when their partner started
pulling crazy moves in the bedroom they knew their guy hadn't learned
from any magazine," notes DeLorenzo.
5. "It's your imagination"
"I've found that by the time someone starts suspecting their lover of
being unfaithful, the affair is already six to twelve months old.
Their partner has just started slipping up," says DeLorenzo. At this
point, the cheater is likely to turn the tables, making you feel
guilty or paranoid for asking questions. That's when alarm bells
should ring. "I felt like something was up between my boyfriend and
his ex—they were spending too much time together—so I confronted him
about leaving me out of things," recalls Erin of New York. "He told
me I was crazy and accused me of looking for a fight. I didn't feel
so nuts a couple weeks later when I found another woman's undies in
his laundry hamper."
6. "I need my space"
If you already suspect that your partner is cheating, and he or she
asks for more space, this is not a good sign—"space" is likely a
euphemism for "space away from you so I can see who else is out
there." Consider this case history: "After I accused him being too
distant, my guy told me he needed some time alone to clear his head
and was taking a scuba trip with some friends and he'd be unreachable
for a few days. The day after he left, his itinerary from Club Med
came," tells Angie of Cleveland. "And he sure wasn't there with his
guy friends." So if your special someone says time alone is needed,
don't be surprised if you're being sent the signal that you'll soon
be solo—that's the sad truth about how cheaters operate, so arm
yourself with this knowledge.
Bill Keith is a writer and editor in New York.
ARE YOU BEING TWO-TIMED?
BY BILL KEITH
You've left your sweetie two voicemails and sent a text message, and
still you've heard nothing. And you're starting to get that bad,
suspicious feeling. Though you've both said you're exclusive at this
point, a little light bulb has just flicked on in your brain and—a-
ha!—you're thinking, "I'm being two-timed." Before you leave him that
next (threatening) next message, take some tips from Anthony
DeLorenzo. He's an infidelity specialist and private investigator
with All State Investigations, a nationwide firm that receives at
least 300 calls a week from suspicious men and women looking for
answers and evidence about their honeys. Here are his six key signs
that the love of your life may have another love life cooking behind
your back.
1. Phone flubs
The telltale hang-up when you pick up your beloved's home phone is a
thing of the past; now, cell phones make communication between lovers
much easier. But they've also created new problems…they leave an
evidence trail: "We were out to dinner one night, he got a call and
when I asked who it was, he had a lot of trouble coming up with an
answer," recalls Alex from Baltimore. "A few minutes later, he went
to the bathroom and left his phone, so I had to look. Of course his
ex-girlfriend's name came up on the missed call list." It's not just
the call log that can get cheaters in trouble: "The cell-phone bill
is a huge indicator," advises DeLorenzo. "It's the easiest place to
gather evidence—repeated, unfamiliar calls with a longer duration
than others, for instance, especially early in the morning or late at
night." So if your partner gets weirded out when you see his cell
phone bill out, it's probably not because he's embarrassed by the
extravagant minutes plan he signed up for.
2. Working overtime
Just because your boyfriend or girlfriend's work hours aren't always
consistent doesn't necessarily mean you're being cheated on, but you
could well be in trouble: "It's hard to come home from work and go
back out to meet up with someone, so using the `working late' excuse
to account for missing time is a natural," says DeLorenzo. "I used to
call him at the office when he was supposedly working late, and he
wouldn't be there," recalls Heather of Miami. "He had menAtioned a
female coworker a few times, so I started asking for her when he
wasn't there and guess who else was never available?"
3. A new interest in the net
"Guys still primarily use the Internet for porn," says
DeLorenzo, "But I'd say that 90% of the women in chat rooms are in
relationships and looking for someone to cheat with." Email trails,
however, are a problem for guys and girls alike. If you find your
partner slamming their laptop every time you walk in on them checking
their email (for the hundredth time that day), it's fairly likely
that they aren't planning you a surprise party. If it's a joint
account (or if you know your sweetheart's password and are the kind
of person who'd snoop), you can search for the truth. There's also
the always good tactic of just asking for the truth.
4. Romance revisions
A sudden lack of interest in sex or a sudden display of new
techniques can be solid indicators that something's up. Women who
cheat, for example, often need to separate their two
relationships: "They don't come home after having a tryst and then
have sex with their partner," says DeLorenzo. So if she's not all
that interested in a romp with you, it could mean she's romping
elsewhere. Men, on the other hand, tend to trip themselves up when
they bust out new moves they've learned from someone else. "Women
always tell me they first got suspicious when their partner started
pulling crazy moves in the bedroom they knew their guy hadn't learned
from any magazine," notes DeLorenzo.
5. "It's your imagination"
"I've found that by the time someone starts suspecting their lover of
being unfaithful, the affair is already six to twelve months old.
Their partner has just started slipping up," says DeLorenzo. At this
point, the cheater is likely to turn the tables, making you feel
guilty or paranoid for asking questions. That's when alarm bells
should ring. "I felt like something was up between my boyfriend and
his ex—they were spending too much time together—so I confronted him
about leaving me out of things," recalls Erin of New York. "He told
me I was crazy and accused me of looking for a fight. I didn't feel
so nuts a couple weeks later when I found another woman's undies in
his laundry hamper."
6. "I need my space"
If you already suspect that your partner is cheating, and he or she
asks for more space, this is not a good sign—"space" is likely a
euphemism for "space away from you so I can see who else is out
there." Consider this case history: "After I accused him being too
distant, my guy told me he needed some time alone to clear his head
and was taking a scuba trip with some friends and he'd be unreachable
for a few days. The day after he left, his itinerary from Club Med
came," tells Angie of Cleveland. "And he sure wasn't there with his
guy friends." So if your special someone says time alone is needed,
don't be surprised if you're being sent the signal that you'll soon
be solo—that's the sad truth about how cheaters operate, so arm
yourself with this knowledge.
Bill Keith is a writer and editor in New York.