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Post by mad_doc on Oct 12, 2004 17:28:19 GMT 8
:harhar: This was written by a black guy in Texas and is so funny. > > >When I born, I black, >When I grow up, I black, >When I go in sun, I black, >When I cold, I black, >When I scared, I black, >When I sick, I black, >and when I die, I still black. > >You white folks.... >When you born, you pink, >When you grow up, you white, >When you go in sun, you red, >When you cold, you blue, >When you scared, you yellow, >When you sick, you green, >When you bruised, you purple, >and when you die, you gray > >So who you callin' colored folk's for us brown folk ano kaya ;D
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Post by gulliver on Oct 13, 2004 8:14:45 GMT 8
;D
here's one for the record...
There is a new virus. The code name is "WORK". If you receive WORK from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, or from anyone else, do not touch it under any circumstances.
This virus wipes out your private life completely.
If you should happen to come in contact with this virus, take two friends and go straight to the nearest pub.
Order drinks immediately and after three rounds, you will find that WORK has been eliminated completely from your system.
Forward this virus warning immediately to at least five friends.
Should you realize you do not have five friends, this means you are already infected by this virus and WORK already controls your life.
If this is the case, go to the pub and stay until you make at least five friends. Then retry.
I think I have five friends, but am not entirely positive so I'm headed for the pub anyway.....it never hurts to be safe.
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Post by retsard on Oct 14, 2004 16:48:21 GMT 8
Pageant Night Miss Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion The FINALISTS :
Miss America Miss Spain Miss Britain Miss Philippines Miss Iran Miss India Miss Japan
QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....
(Applause!.... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.
(Applause!... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive.
(Applause!... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves QUESTION : And why do you say that? MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door.....
(Applause!... Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer. QUESTION : Why do you say that? MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night....
(Applause!..Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....because it bows down after every performance.
(Applause!..Applause!)
QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, opcors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis... QUESTION : Chismis??? MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language. QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that? MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..
(STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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Post by weekendrider on Oct 15, 2004 11:59:50 GMT 8
Two ministers would meet each Sunday morning, riding their bicycles to their respective churches. Then one Sunday, one of the ministers was walking. "What happened to your bike?" asked the other. "Can you believe that someone in my congregation stole it?" "NO!" said his fellow minister, then an idea struck him. "You want to know how to get your bike back? Next Sunday, give a fire & brimstone sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you get to the part about 'Thou Shall Not Steal', just look out into the congregation and see who looks guilty."
Well the next Sunday, the minister comes riding up on his bike. "Hey--I see my suggestion worked." "Well sort of. I was going along real good on the Ten Commandments and when I got to the part about Adultery, I remembered where I left my bike!"
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