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Post by g.b.b on Oct 4, 2006 7:43:52 GMT 8
LANI MISALUCHA Asia's nightingale
REGINE VELASQUEZ Asia's song bird
GLORIA MACAPAGAL AROYO Mole of Asia
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Post by g.b.b on Oct 4, 2006 7:45:05 GMT 8
If LOVE is the answer....
what is the question?
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Post by g.b.b on Oct 4, 2006 7:46:43 GMT 8
Couple sees a wounded skunk and picks it up.
WIFE: It's cold and shivering.
HUSBAND: Put it in between your legs.
WIFE: What about the smell?
HUSBAND: Cover its nose!!
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Post by g.b.b on Oct 4, 2006 7:54:46 GMT 8
BED TALK:
Boy: is this your first time??
GIRL: (angrily) Oo naman noh!!! You guys talaga....always asking the same question!! Hmpf
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Post by g.b.b on Oct 4, 2006 7:56:20 GMT 8
Husband: Today is holiday and i want to have fun, so i bought 3 movie tickets ....
Wife: But why 3?
Husband: For you and your parents.......
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Post by uphiller on Oct 4, 2006 9:30:37 GMT 8
more!! gbb more!! ;D
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Post by MR.McMuffin on Oct 4, 2006 11:17:22 GMT 8
hehehe
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Post by whoopi on Oct 4, 2006 11:41:48 GMT 8
@gbb: ;D
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Post by cobym on Oct 17, 2006 12:32:29 GMT 8
wrong lyrics:
"So kiss me and smaffle me...."
"Nothings gonna change my love for you, you know naman by now how much I love you...."
"Don't go Jason waterfalls...."
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Post by bikehunter on Oct 19, 2006 16:19:26 GMT 8
3 kids were reciting their alphabet on stage.....
American: A B C D.....
Filipino: A Ba K Da
Muslim: Di Bi Di Bi Si Di Tag Fif Ti
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Post by bikehunter on Oct 19, 2006 16:26:59 GMT 8
jen and kris were having a conversation.... jen: did you know that i made my husband a millionnaire kris: no... how? jen: 1st he was a billionnaire now a millionnaire.... u get the point?\
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Post by knobbyist on Jul 20, 2007 0:06:53 GMT 8
salesman knocks on door wife opens door and salesman rushes in and throws horse manure all over the floor... salesman: ma'am, if our vacuum cleaner can't clean all of that... ill eat it. wife: you son of a b*#ch, you better start eating... we have a blackout. ;D (sayang... its funnier in tagalog)
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donfacundo
Free Rider
palimos ng pambili ng frame
Posts: 398
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Post by donfacundo on Aug 2, 2007 23:08:09 GMT 8
isa rin akong butterfly... (i am also a butterfly)
isang pretty brown butterfly... (one pretty brown butterfly)
---- baklang ipis (gay cockroach)
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Post by Ben Dover on Aug 3, 2007 16:48:12 GMT 8
Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa bang napupusuan? (ey man! how come till now you dont hav someone?)
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang! (hihihihi! ;D )
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Post by Ben Dover on Aug 3, 2007 16:54:10 GMT 8
Boss asks sexy secretary to a dinner after overtime: Are you free tonight? The sexy secretary replies: Sir, ha... huwag naman, FREE... Bibigyan na lang kita ng discount!
currahee! ;D
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Post by baboinsky on Aug 3, 2007 17:03:50 GMT 8
Nahipo ni Boyfriend ang Legs ni Girlfriend..... (Trans: A guy touched the legs of his Girlfriend)
GF: Ooops PSALM 129!!!!!!!!!! BF: I'm Sorry
Paguwi hinanap ni BF ang PSALM 129 sa bible. (Trans: He looked up Psalm 129 in the Bible when he got home)
Psalm 129 - GO HIGHER AND FIND GLORY
BF: P*tah SAYANG!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by baboinsky on Aug 3, 2007 17:10:03 GMT 8
Problemado ka?! (Trans: Problems?)
At walang Pera? (Trans: No Money?)
Eto ang sagot! (Trans: Here's the answer)
Just Simply Text
NANAY <SPACE> PENGE < SPACE> PERA
at send sa number nya (Trans: Send to her number)
ang dali diba? May Chance ka pa mamura! ;D
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Post by tracer03 on Aug 11, 2007 18:24:34 GMT 8
textmates finally planning to meet, girl: "ill be wearing red skirt". boy: " me green shirt." ugly girl with red skirt went to a coffe shop to meet boy, no one wearing green. she talked to a boy in blue shirt, girl: are you my textmate? boy: dehins a! nakagreen ba ko? Hello!.
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 15:45:24 GMT 8
Aaylenay, Olinay, Olisam, Olismray, Ranyonmergin, Manerenchay, Oliimansotennernmay , Sliminemenlimis, Sliminemenlimis, (Ngongo singing “Silent Night”…try mo rin)
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 15:46:36 GMT 8
Two young priests discussing prospects of celibacy. P1: Do you think Vatican will allow us to get married?! P2: Not in our generation, maybe our children!
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 15:47:18 GMT 8
Young childless wife asked for advice from religious persons: Pastor : Keep trying. Iglesia: Try another doctor. Born Again: Try special diet. Rabbi : Try yoga. Bishop : Let me try.
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 15:47:59 GMT 8
60-yr old Pastor to his young bride: "Honey, before we do it, let's first pray for guidance." Young bride: "Darling, just pray for endurance, I'll take care of the guidance!"
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 15:48:47 GMT 8
At Bill Gate's wife's first press conference: Reporter: "How does it feel to have sex with the world's richest man?" BG's Wife: "No big deal...The world know's why he named his company Microsoft!"
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 15:51:11 GMT 8
o.t.
Funny stuff only found in the good old Philippines... * Nakasulat sa pader: "MARUNONG KA BANG TUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMIIHI DITO!" * along a highway in Pampanga: "WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE" * in a Baguio grocery: "FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE" * in Cubao: "NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY" * on a parking lot: "TAXI AND OUTSIDE CAR NOT ALLOWED" * along Luneta Boulevard: "BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD" * on Jeepney and Bus signs: "BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF" * on a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue: "WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS" * on a delivery truck: "NOT FOR HERE" * on window of a restaurant in Baguio: "WANTED: BOY WAITRESS" * A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a university: "PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN." * At a men's comfort room, above a urinal: "HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN" * at a construction site in Mandaluyong: "BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG" * somewhere along San Andres: "NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS" * vacant lot near makati ave.: "DON'T PARKING" * at an eatery in Cebu: "WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL! and this is the best of them all!! * on a building somewhere in the Philippines... "NOTARY PUBLIC TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO"
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 16:06:03 GMT 8
Policeman arresting a prostitute Prosti: I am not selling sex lespu: Then what are you doing? Prosti: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms with free demo.
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 16:06:32 GMT 8
A naked girl rode on a taxi "Bakit" asked the girl at the driver na nakatitig sa katawan nya "Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad?" Driver: "dehins po miss, iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago pamasahe mo"
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 16:07:21 GMT 8
Beauty contest..... Emcee: What's the big problem facing the country today? Contestant: Drugs Emcee: Very good, why do you say that? Contestant: Ang mahal kasi eh!(its soooooo expensive!!!)
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AEhachiroku86
Lurker
"the force is strong with this one!"
Posts: 14
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Post by AEhachiroku86 on Aug 20, 2007 16:07:48 GMT 8
Doc: For your health take only a cup of rice, lean meat and a saucer of kangkong. Fruits for dessert and lots of juice.... Fat guy: Doc, shall I take them before or after meals?
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3d3r
All-Mountain Rider
My bike is just a tool... I 'am the weapon
Posts: 193
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Post by 3d3r on Aug 27, 2007 13:02:40 GMT 8
Proud to be a Filipino In an international Convention of coffee-producing nations, the Philippines proved it really has given something to the coffee world. The Columbia delegate said: "We have the best coffee beans." Remarked the Japanese representative: "Japan refined coffee production to make people enjoy coffee more." The American delegate: "America has the best and the most number of brands of regular and instant coffee, supported by the most modern means of production." Then the Filipino delegate stood up to proudly declare: "The Philippines invented the two-hour coffee break!!!"
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timotz
All-Mountain Rider
Keep going!! Its not yet your time.
Posts: 187
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Post by timotz on Aug 28, 2007 14:17:00 GMT 8
-one night a couple decided to switch partners -after several burning sizzling sex they asked each other a question
-pare kamusta na kaya missis natin?
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