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Post by gadgets88 on Aug 27, 2007 10:00:42 GMT 8
Any questions? Advice? Tips? Sharing of experience?
Anything related to parenting, for newbies and oldies, single or married, academic or real-life discussions.
This thread is for you!
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Post by Ben Dover on Aug 27, 2007 10:34:12 GMT 8
1. its dangerous to confuse children with angels.
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Post by gadgets88 on Aug 27, 2007 11:11:36 GMT 8
1. its dangerous to confuse children with angels. Please expound, Sir.
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Post by qt_kat on Aug 27, 2007 11:42:07 GMT 8
Well, I am no expert but I guess I can contribute coz I have four kids to look after. I can proudly say that our kids are one of a kind. They easily follow what I tell them, they clean up their toys after playing, they seldom quarrel and never hurt each other. They share whatever they have with each other. I could just go on and on and the list never ends. Here are some tips I could share with all you parents out there. 1. It all starts with disciplining the child early. As early as they learn how to walk, you have to discipline them. Learn how to say "no" to stuffs. Do not let them get away with things. Do not spoil them. Whenever my kids ask me "Mom, can I do this or can I have that?", and I know that it wont be good for them, I would say no. And then kids as they are, they would be "makulit" and would ask "Why", I would answer them..."Because I said so". Then they would stop bugging me. 2. Keep everything on schedule. Make rules and stick to it. For example "No playing the Xbox on weekdays" or "No playing outside unless you're done with your homework", "Lights out at 8 pm on weekdays", "No watching TV on exam week". If you start laying down rules early and sticking to it, then your kids will follow it diligently. 3. Never hurt or spank your child. Spanking wouldn't do anything good and instead would make the child more violent and hurtful towards his siblings and peers. Sometimes a child gets stubborn and won't listen. I scare them a little. What I do is to give an ultimatum. With a raised voice and a belt in one hand, I would say "If you don't stop or if you won't go to sleep, I will use the belt." Then they would follow me because they feel that I really mean it (though I don't really do it ;D ). 4. Appreciate every little thing that your child does. Always praise them for whatever good deed they've done. Like if they say "Mommy, I made this or I drew this ( even if its abstract-looking), just say "Wow that is so nice! Good job!" . If possible reward them once in a while. 5. Keep your promise. When you promise something to a kid, be sure not to break it. A promise is a promise to a kid. This is how they learn that you are being true to your words. If not, then they would always think you are not firm and would not take you seriously. For example, your kid wants you to buy something or go somewhere, dont say..."okay, promise next time we'll buy that or we'll go there". Rather you say, "Let me think about it." In that way, you wont put yourself in danger of breaking any promises. Ill post some more if I think of other tips. ;D Its the early molding of the parents that sets the foundation for what one might become or how one acts towards other people. Do keep this in mind......"Love begets love"
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Post by g.b.b on Aug 27, 2007 11:59:42 GMT 8
You must learn how to bathe your kids..
You must learn the correct way to clean "poop" for girls it should be against their genitals to avoid UTI at early age..
You must thank them ALWAYS in everything they do for you.. (example: Baby.. get that... then when they hand it to you... say thank you then clap hands if possible so they know they've done something you appreciate)
Tama si kate, dont spank the kids or raise voice at all times.... just be very very very as in very patient coz nung bata ka rin makulit ka rin (at alam mo yun).
Just a reminder: never scold or be harsh to your yaya's kid.... coz if they're gone you'll be the one to take care of your kid..... big hassle to look for yaya that you can trust nowadays....... ako nakaka 6 na yaya na palit miski todo pakikisama namin...... i dunno why....
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Post by qt_kat on Aug 27, 2007 12:25:13 GMT 8
more tips..... 1. Be the best role model to your kids. Kids look up to parents all the time and kids see their parents as heroes. Whatever things they see that you do, they will copy it in the future. 2. With regards to eating, always let your child try all the food that you eat. When they see food for the first time, they would immediately say "I'm not gonna eat that" or "I don't want that Mommy", tell them to taste it first to see how it taste and let them be the judge if its good or not. The way some food looks can be intimidating and shocking to kids. Once, my hubby cooked clams with oyster sauce and I made lato salad (seaweeds). Our kids immediately protested and said they don't want to eat those. We told them to try it out first. They did and they liked it and now they are the ones requesting for us to cook it. So now, whatever food we eat, our kids also eat. For vegetables, its mandatory to give them, so when they tell you that they don't like it, still give them veggies and tell them its good for the body. "No buts when it comes to veggies!" will think of some more... ;D
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timotz
All-Mountain Rider
Keep going!! Its not yet your time.
Posts: 187
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Post by timotz on Aug 27, 2007 16:31:04 GMT 8
-have some good bonding activities like playing console games or watching anime with them -playing console games can improve their eyes and hands coordination & help them learn the concept of strategy well of course it should be supervised because you dont want to ruin their eye sight on such early age.
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Post by Ben Dover on Aug 27, 2007 19:56:59 GMT 8
1. its dangerous to confuse children with angels. Please expound, Sir. sir, i believe its one of the most quoted remarks by david fyfe...its supposed to make us think...i have my own interpretation of it but i just dont think its right to give any.
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Post by baboinsky on Aug 27, 2007 20:14:34 GMT 8
I read this quote from a book, which the title escapes me at the moment.
"Children are not coloring books. you don't get to paint your favorite colors in them."
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Julia
XC Rider
S P A N K!
Posts: 131
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Post by Julia on Sept 23, 2007 0:15:37 GMT 8
The best way to make Life easy for your kids in the future is to make it difficult.
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Post by dayuhan on Sept 24, 2007 16:30:13 GMT 8
When I read this I am soooo happy to be raising kids in Sagada.
Last weekend was fiesta in Bangaan, maybe 5km from here. Saturday my daughter went up to play softball, a lot of the Bangaan girls were on their (regional champion) team last year, so it was a reunion. Sunday morning they wanted to go back, 7 grade 6 and 7 girls. They just took off, in a pack, none of them wearing makeup or designer anything or anything but ukay ukay clothes, just tsinelas on their feet, no fancy phones, just laughing and happy and singing. They came back riding on top of a jeep, that evening, still happy, played games and ate and goofed off all day. I didn't see Jenny all day, and never had a shred of worry that anything would go wrong.
If there's no fiesta they'd go to the stream and swim, or maybe have a picnic up in the pine trees... sometimes the pack ends up in my house, and I feed them all, sometimes they're somewhere else. Either way, I don't worry... It's Sagada, what's to worry about?
There's something to be said for the country life, where kids are concerned...
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Post by fattire on Sept 24, 2007 17:36:13 GMT 8
i got nothing new to add here, just to be heard, i guess.
thanks to the tips above, kate's got loads, all of 'em useful, same with brionne. and the quotes posted by sirs P.A. and Tolits. there's also julia's, subject to interpretation, of course.
and of course that Sagada moment shared by dayuhan - priceless!
my wife works in Singapore, our only kid is with me at the moment but we'll join up with her mom, latest would be 2nd quarter next year.
my son and I live in our own home but we are in the same street where her mom's parents and relatives live.
when i'm off to work my son usually stays with my in-laws four houses away.
here's my problem: Me and my in-laws are not in the same understanding about how to discipline my son.
i do my best taking care of my son, he's doing ok, but like all of you will agree we do stuff now that will show up later.
all i can think of now is the time we'll all be together, i can't see (or fail to see) any solution on the short term
any thoughts?
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Post by allegra on Sept 24, 2007 23:00:49 GMT 8
hehe what's wrong w/ being spoiled lola's boy?? They turn out pretty ok I think
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Post by whoopi on Sept 25, 2007 12:34:26 GMT 8
i used to be a spoiled lola's girl myself
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Post by allegra on Sept 25, 2007 13:57:22 GMT 8
If you really want your in-laws to discipline the kids Dun mo na patirahin Give them a month or 2 , and they'll become discplinarians na rin
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Post by fattire on Sept 25, 2007 14:30:37 GMT 8
whoopi: kung magiging katulad mo paglaki roche, ayos! ako rin laki sa lola trans: if he'll grow up like you fafa len, thanks for the input
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Post by enzo on Sept 25, 2007 14:35:27 GMT 8
Grandparents are lawyers for our kids! Mommy said no! Granny said yes. Confusing for the child. Kid's said It's so cool to stay in Lola's house coz I can have anything I want. Daddy is happy the kids are out of the house and he can ride or do a lot of things with Mommy ;D
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Post by fullspeed on Sept 25, 2007 14:37:43 GMT 8
Im sure a lot will disagree with me, but I believe in spanking a child as long as you do it correctly. I spank my 3 year old in the butt or hand with a "spank rod" my friend ROXIO of PinoyMTBiker gave me and remind him about our rules and that he gets a punishment for breaking it.
It is actually written in the Bible -
Proverbs 13:24 says "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him"
also
Proverbs 23:13-14 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death."
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Post by whoopi on Sept 25, 2007 15:00:21 GMT 8
hahaha OWEN, i used to sleep beside my lola until my early 20's, di ako makatulog otherwise. if she didn't get sick and had to be on her own i wouldn't have learned to sleep alone. i don't know which one of us didn't want me to grow up ;D personally i think it's good to teach a kid some independence. one young parent i know says, if it won't kill the kid, let him. easier said than done though, i'm sure i'd like to think if i were a parent i'd spank the child too, like FULLSPEED. LEN, i think what you said is true. my mother spoils my nephew rotten, but she hits a limit every now and then and asks my brother to take the kid away so she can have time for herself ;D
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Post by marcs on Sept 25, 2007 15:18:59 GMT 8
i'm no parent, but judging from some of my friends, I think some parents have this tendency to ensure that their kids have a 'comfortable' life, and in the process actually taking away seemigly difficult 'life moments' that end up building character for the kid.
I see this more in parents that went through a lot in life, finally making it, and hoping their kids don't go through the same hard stuff. Funny thing is, those hard stuff is what made them successful in the first place.
Net, you get kids that don't have any realy direction in life, who don't take risks,who do really stupid things (out of boredom?), who don't really become independent coz 'mom and dad will always be there.'
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Post by allegra on Sept 25, 2007 15:27:07 GMT 8
Roche, Of course I'm right Coz not only did I let my parents spoil my kids ( laki tipid ko ) , I made them pay the darn pre school tuition pa ! Eat that Sun Tzu! Of course now the kids are bigger , marunong na sila sumipsip on their own haha
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Post by whoopi on Sept 25, 2007 15:39:19 GMT 8
Len, you set a very fine example, so your kids will do to you what you did to your parents hahahaha! OT: what's that on your avatar, milenyo wiped out your home and left only a bench behind? ;D which reminds me, the last twister that visited bulacan, some poor guy woke up iba na address nya hahahaha!
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Post by enzo on Sept 25, 2007 15:59:28 GMT 8
Roche, Of course I'm right Coz not only did I let my parents spoil my kids ( laki tipid ko ) , I made them pay the darn pre school tuition pa ! Eat that Sun Tzu! Of course now the kids are bigger , marunong na sila sumipsip on their own haha ;D ;D ;DSame here.
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Post by yukon on Sept 25, 2007 16:13:56 GMT 8
Im sure a lot will disagree with me, but I believe in spanking a child as long as you do it correctly. I spank my 3 year old in the butt or hand with a "spank rod" my friend ROXIO of PinoyMTBiker gave me and remind him about our rules and that he gets a punishment for breaking it. It is actually written in the Bible - Proverbs 13:24 says "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" also Proverbs 23:13-14 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." marcial i heard my pastor once mention never to discipline your child with your hands. Coz the hands are the same instruments you use to minister to your kids like hugging, carrying, etc. He may have a point there...yes I spank my 2 daughters with an instrument as much as possible.
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Post by Ben Dover on Sept 25, 2007 16:42:03 GMT 8
instruments? kasama ba salt, mungo, candle,ants and a lenght of rope dyan?
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trance03
All-Mountain Rider
SockMan
Posts: 150
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Post by trance03 on Sept 25, 2007 17:55:02 GMT 8
yukon- i reckon u use the saxophone to discipline ur kids? bore them to the music of david sanborn?
sockmangione.
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Julia
XC Rider
S P A N K!
Posts: 131
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Post by Julia on Sept 25, 2007 20:24:24 GMT 8
The best way to make Life easy for your kids in the future is to make it difficult. In the future, our kids will be adults... and will eventually know that life is not that easy afterall... kaya ngayon pa lang, as parents, we instill dicipline diba?do the homework,homework,homework... no PS2 pag weekdays... lights out after 8pm... no TV when exam week is on... simple things for us na feeling nila parusa... when they grow up, they would thank us for making life "difficult" for them...
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roman
Urban Assaulter
In everything you do, do it unto the Lord
Posts: 81
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Post by roman on Sept 25, 2007 21:01:05 GMT 8
Im sure a lot will disagree with me, but I believe in spanking a child as long as you do it correctly. I spank my 3 year old in the butt or hand with a "spank rod" my friend ROXIO of PinoyMTBiker gave me and remind him about our rules and that he gets a punishment for breaking it. It is actually written in the Bible - Proverbs 13:24 says "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" also Proverbs 23:13-14 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death." marcial i heard my pastor once mention never to discipline your child with your hands. Coz the hands are the same instruments you use to minister to your kids like hugging, carrying, etc. He may have a point there...yes I spank my 2 daughters with an instrument as much as possible. Pinapdapa ko mga anak ko (I spank them) and after ward i hug them and tell them how much I love them and tell them the reason why i should give them the rod. And they are growing to be a God fearing Kids!!!
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Post by yukon on Sept 25, 2007 21:27:27 GMT 8
yukon- i reckon u use the saxophone to discipline ur kids? bore them to the music of david sanborn? sockmangione. cant do allan...sold my saxophone long time ago. My kids when disciplined look at me as though I'm not their father. When reprimanded they always smile back at me like saying gimme some more. Argh...I'm done with 2 girls.
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Post by fullspeed on Sept 25, 2007 23:20:29 GMT 8
Meyrick - I actually use a spank rod with instructions on how to use it What it says is actually like what sir Roman does, remind your child about the rules and what he did wrong, spank, then reassure how much you love him/her Also written is the Bible verse I have written above. I think you can buy one at Christian book stores.
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